The Best of the Worst of the 2008 Washington State Primary

Well, it's primary season again, and that means a new voters' pamphlet. This really is some of the most entertaining mail I get all year. Here are the strangest and most amusing of this years' candidates.

The candidate statements are available online if you'd like to read more about any of these folks.

U.S. Congressional District 7:

Goodspaceguy Nelson
(Democratic Party)

Family: "The life of Spaceship Earth is his family."

Experience: "Trying to understand the universe, Goodspaceguy became an amateur jack-of-all-trades and astronomer and economist and wants to advance rejuvenation and medical technology and wants tall buildings and more movies to be made in Washington State."

Platform: Space colonization. His blog exhorts us to "Beam Goodspaceguy Up to Spaceship Congress."

Note: Ran for Senate as Michael Goodspaceguy Nelson in 2006 — did he change his name?


Al Schaefer
(No party preference)

Previous elected experience: "Student Council President - HS; Pres. Cancer Victors and Friends; Program Chairman for same"

Platform: Requiring judges to inform jurors about Jury Nullification. Requiring the IRS to eliminate wages from taxable income. Believes the income tax is voluntary. Wants to pass a bill requiring the documentary 9/11 Press For Truth reviewed, but doesn't say by whom.

Note: What on earth is he wearing on his head in his picture?


U.S. Congressional District 8:

Keith Arnold
(Democratic Party)

Platform: Wants Congress to strip the Supreme Court's power, then eliminate the Supreme Court entirely through a constitutional amendment.


Governor:

Will Baker
(Reform Party)

Platform: Believes the 2004 primary voters' pamphlet was cancelled specifically to censor him. Believes "State Governor Christine 'The Cover-Up Queen' Gregoire" [sic] has paid off whisteblowers to cover up scandals.

Asks readers to visit his website, then call "60 Minutes."


Duff Badgley
(Green Party)

Platform: Among other things, wants Boeing diverted to the manufacture of solar and wind power equipment.


Javier O. Lopez
(Republican Party)

Experience: "I have invented an air engine that has the power to operate an automobile while relying on air as its fuel source."

Platform: Eliminating waste and fraud, $30 car license tabs, limiting spending, protecting children from sexual abuse by educators.


I should note that this is the first year for a "top two" primary that was instated by voter initiative. Candidates are identified by their party preference, but are not required to be members of, or endorsed by, those parties. The top two vote-getters for each position go to the general election, regardless of party affiliation.

Some candidates seemed a little unsure of the name of the party they were running for, or perhaps had trouble filling out the form. Party preferences included the "G.O.P. Party" (Grand Old Party Party?), "Democrat Party," "Party of Commons Party," and the "Cut Taxes G.O.P. Party."