<
https://thesicktimes.org/2025/11/28/you-know-someone-with-long-covid-they-need-you-to-ask-about-it-genuinely/>
"“You seem well!” a friend says at a backyard barbecue when I tell them I have
Long COVID.
I hear this often, yet my stomach still sinks. What they don’t see is that I’m
struggling to remain upright and form sentences, or the drawerfuls of
medications and supplements it takes to animate me for an evening. I don’t
mention this, though, because whenever I talk about my chronic illness, people
act as if I’ve just stripped naked in a room full of strangers.
The worst part of getting Long COVID was the cruelty of the disease, a punitive
unraveling of my health and identity. The next-worst part, and just as
heartbreaking, was discovering how few of my friends and loved ones could
engage with my illness in ways that felt caring.
Though well-meaning, people met my life-altering condition with reflexive
feel-betters! and
get-well-soons! Be strong, a close family member said
whenever the topic arose, which felt more like
be quiet: Men aren’t supposed
to dwell on their suffering.
“I’m disabled,” I finally worked up the courage to tell a friend one day.
“You’ll get through it,” they replied between bites of their turkey club
sandwich.
When people asked,
Why do you think it hit you so hard? it seemed to carry a
tinge of suspicion. I must have done something wrong to bring Long COVID upon
myself, as opposed to it being the cosmic car accident that illness so often
is.
For all the inadequate responses, what hurt the most was what wasn’t said: the
glazed expressions, anxious pivots to small talk, and unanswered texts. A kind
of bystander effect took hold. People assumed someone else was checking in on
me, so very few did. Months of avoidance turned to years. Eventually, the party
went on, and my illness was the bad smell in the room, noticed only by me.
I felt like I lived a double life. How could this sick side of me be so
central, so enormous, yet so unseen by those who knew and loved me?"
Via Violet Blue’s
Threat Model - Covid: December 4, 2025
https://www.patreon.com/posts/covid-december-4-144962976
Cheers,
*** Xanni ***
--
mailto:xanni@xanadu.net Andrew Pam
http://xanadu.com.au/ Chief Scientist, Xanadu
https://glasswings.com.au/ Partner, Glass Wings
https://sericyb.com.au/ Manager, Serious Cybernetics
