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https://theconversation.com/friday-essay-my-family-are-always-trying-to-buy-us-a-house-we-asked-couples-how-class-affects-their-relationships-229277>
"When Patrick first held a driver’s licence, his P-plates, he drove a beaten-up
car “almost as old as myself”. If police didn’t pull him over once a month,
he’d be surprised.
His older brother’s girlfriend, “an upper-class girl”, was once pulled over
while on her P-plates while driving a new car, having forgotten to put her
lights on. The officer told her in a friendly voice, “You should probably put
your lights on.” She had responded mildly with, “Oh, cool, sorry.” Meanwhile,
in a similar situation, Patrick had been charged over an insignificant
technicality to do with displaying his P-plates.
“Just the expectation from me of dealing with authorities is … I have to toe
the line,” he told us, “my expectations are I’m going to get slammed by them.”
When we spoke to Patrick, he was in his thirties. Now, he was a computer
programmer, living a comfortable life. But throughout his childhood, Patrick,
who is white, shouldered significant responsibilities amid severe material
deprivation – he recalled going hungry, for instance.
His girlfriend, Felicia, grew up in the “upper class end of things” in the
quiet south-eastern suburbs of Melbourne. Her dad was a doctor and her mum
assisted with the practice. She and her siblings attended the local private
school because, Felicia believed, her parents wanted her to associate with “the
right people”. She described her family background as Jewish, English and
“brown”, and her childhood as a “very happy time”.
Patrick told us Felicia can “talk her way out of” situations with authorities.
“She can always explain the situation and get leeway.” He sees a big difference
between them around “expectation”: of their treatment in the world and their
place within it.
These divergent expectations reached into various aspects of their shared
lives. “Dealing with things like real estate agents or businesses or whatever,
she’s always got the expectation that something can be worked out.” Put another
way, Patrick felt Felicia’s view of the world was, “What she wants can be got.”
Patrick, conversely, described how he couldn’t “shake” the feeling he needed to
always have “everything in line”. If he was submitting a rental application for
a house, for example, he took care to have all the documentation watertight and
in hand. This is much easier to accomplish now he is earning a high wage as a
programmer and living a settled life. Yet he still carries a somewhat amorphous
anxiety, steeped in his class experience. “If I have one thing wrong, that one
thing’s going to trip me up.”"
Cheers,
*** Xanni ***
--
mailto:xanni@xanadu.net Andrew Pam
http://xanadu.com.au/ Chief Scientist, Xanadu
https://glasswings.com.au/ Partner, Glass Wings
https://sericyb.com.au/ Manager, Serious Cybernetics
