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https://theconversation.com/friday-essay-australia-may-ban-wechat-but-for-many-chinese-australians-its-their-lifeline-205937>
"One morning in February 2021, I was woken by a WeChat call from my brother in
China. Mum had died the previous night, he told me. I wasn’t shocked to hear
about Mum’s death – she had been very ill for a couple of years.
In fact, for months before she died, our weekly WeChat exchanges mostly took
the form of my simply looking at her on the screen, noticing subtle signs of
deterioration each time. In a way, these online occasions were more for my
benefit than hers. She was progressively unable to recognise or communicate
with me.
In the days after her death, my brother and his wife did their best to make me
feel included. They persuaded the local crematorium to let them stream the
funeral event live via WeChat, so I could “be there”.
In my inner-west home in Sydney, I saw Mum’s body in the coffin. Two days
later, my brother hooked me up on WeChat again so I could witness the burial of
my mum’s ashes in the cemetery. Half an hour after I ended this call, I had to
join a work-related Zoom meeting. Thanks to the wonders of technology, my
private grief had to be sidelined.
My dad was then in his mid-eighties, but very healthy for his age. He
understood I couldn’t be there, knowing what I’d have to go through to actually
visit him.
Two weeks of quarantine in a hotel in the international city where I would land
(Shanghai), then one more week in a hotel in my home city in a nearby province,
plus one week of home isolation. I kept assuring him as soon as the travel ban
was lifted, I’d go to see him.
But he died a few months after Mum: suddenly, most likely due to a heart
attack. So, we went through the same ritual on WeChat a few days later – in the
crematorium and in the cemetery. This time, I knew what to expect.
I still have my dad’s voice messages on my WeChat. But I still can’t bring
myself to play them and hear his voice. Even now, two years after his death, it
is still too raw.
I am reminded of a remark from a WeChat researcher in Hong Kong: “WeChat is
being used as an archive of emotions.”"
Cheers,
*** Xanni ***
--
mailto:xanni@xanadu.net Andrew Pam
http://xanadu.com.au/ Chief Scientist, Xanadu
https://glasswings.com.au/ Partner, Glass Wings
https://sericyb.com.au/ Manager, Serious Cybernetics
