The Joke Assortment with Chewy Centres

by Katherine Phelps
Copyright © 1994

The Humourous Word List

Some people collect trivia about baseball games, movies, presidents, world records, etc. I am a great collector of interesting and amusing words. Below are a list of a few real words that I find worth a laugh because I am amazed someone bothered to invent them, or they are all too apt.

Ergophobia:
Fear of work (better start with an easy one).

Triskaidekaphobia:
Fear of the number thirteen.

Arachibutylphobia:
Fear of the peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth (careful, put that pbj down, you don't really want to hurt anyone).

Kakastocracy:
Rule by the most incompetent (sound familiar?).

Katzenjammer:
Hangover (try telling your roommate you have a katzenjammer).

Flocculate:
Bearing small tufts of hair (such as my dad's head).

Pixilated:
Off with the pixies (ought to come back into usage in this New Age).

And here's a greeting to lay on your friends that my grandfather used on me when I was a youngun: How does your high corpsiosity sagaciate this fine salubrious morning?

Q: What do you get when you cross a squirrel with a kangaroo?
A: An animal that keeps its nuts in its pockets.

Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a kangaroo?
A: Bloody big potholes in the road.

Q: Why did the punker cross the road?
A: Because he had a chicken stapled to his face.

Q: Why do computer programmers get Christmas and Halloween mixed up?
A: Because Oct 31 = Dec 25 (I dunno, it's a mathematical joke. Go ask a mathematician)

The Vampire

Two nuns were driving on the highway when a vampire landed on the bonnet (hood) of their car. The one nun says to the other, "Stick your head out the window and show him your cross." So the other nun pokes her head out and yells, "You damned vampire, get the hell off our car."

The Dinosaur Extinction Top Ten

For next month we are looking for people's humourous ideas as to why the dinosaurs became extinct. Example: Because they crossed the road. E-mail your submissions to muse@glasswings.com.au

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